Lover Come Hack To Me – Tales from the Crypt Season 1; Episode 5

Greed.  It’s a common theme in Tales From the Crypt.  Here we have someone marrying for money, but he just happened to marry someone with a violent family history, as well as one of the most annoying voices ever!  Apologies to Amanda Plummer, but she has always grated on me.

This episode is directed by Tom Holland (Fright Night, Child’s Play), continuing the theme of Tales bringing a high level of talent to the show.  Holland does a good job here, as you would expect.  The story is pretty original, marrying greed in with some supernatural elements, along with a pretty bat shit crazy lady.

In my opinion, what keeps this from being a classic episode is Amanda Plummer.  I’m just not a fan.  This is, however, still very worth checking out.

Only Sin Deep – Tales from the Crypt Season 1; Episode 4

Only Sin Deep is a classic tale, as Leah Thompson chooses beauty over longevity, but this time there is a twist, applying pawn shop guidelines.  This may be the least original episode in Season 1, but don’t let that detract from its quality.  It’s very good, mixing vanity and greed with murderous intent.

Director Howard Deutch may be the most displaced in Season 1, as his specialty was comedy’s, including Pretty in Pink and The Great Outdoors.  Still, he weaves this tale masterfully, moving the episode along at a quick enough pace that you don’t get bored.  As an added plus, the episode was written by none other than Fred Dekker, director of Monster Squad and Night of the Creeps.

Overall, this is my least favorite episode from Season 1, but it still isn’t a bad episode.  The horror elements are dialed way back, and this plays more like a Twilight Zone episode.  Other than a couple of gunshot wounds, this episode is devoid of the grue and guts you expect to see.  It’s a pretty tame episode all around, but still very worth watching.

Dig That Cat…He’s Real Gone – Tales From the Crypt Season 1; Episode 3

Dig That Cat would be the first episode to have any sort of supernatural theme to it, as Joe Pantoliano obtains a cat’s “nine lives” through a medical procedure.  He proceeds to use this gift to make money as a sideshow freak, cashing in on his ability to come back to life after suffering increasingly horrible deaths.  This is my favorite episode of the inaugural season.  I think the story is the best of the bunch and Pantoliano does a marvelous job.  Richard Donner (yet another superstar director) helms the story beautifully, moving along a story that takes place over a longer period of time than we normally see in this series at a brisk pace.

The Man Who Was Death – Tales from the Crypt Season 1; Episode 1

The entire Tales from the Crypt series has been sitting on my shelf for a few years now.  Every once in a while, I’ve taken a season down and checked out a few episodes, but this Halloween season, I’ve decided to see how far I can get with it, starting from the beginning.  This will also be the first reviews I write for TV shows, so the format will be much shorter, something I am dubbing Quick Hits.

The first episode, The Man Who Was Death, was directed by Walter Hill, a veteran who has worked in many genres, something that was very common for Tales from the Crypt, especially in the earlier seasons.  It starred William Sadler as a an out of work executioner who takes the law into his own hands when murder suspects escape the law.

The first episode is fantastic and really sets the tone for Season 1.  It plays like a much darker Twilight Zone, although there are no supernatural elements to be found in this episode.  I’ve long been a fan of William Sadler and I think his acting is a prime reason that this episode is so enjoyable. Gerrit Graham also makes a brief, although shocking appearance (sorry, The Crypt Keeper is obviously wearing off on me!)

Creepshow (1982)

Directed By: George A Romero

Starring: Tom Atkins, Tom Savini, Ed Harris, John Amplas, Stephen King, Leslie Nielsen, Gaylen Ross, Ted Danson, Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, Fritz Weaver, E.G. Marshall

Subgenre: Anthology, Zombies, Creature Feature

Synopsis: Five short stories pay homage to the horror comics of yesteryear.

Thoughts: It doesn’t always work out for the best when horror legends decide to work together, but when Stephen King and George Romero teamed up to give us Creepshow, they hit one out of the park.  King’s stories and Romero’s work behind the camera, coupled with an extremely impressive cast, made for one of the best horror anthology movies ever.  The idea to model the movie after the horror comics of the 50s allowed for easy transitions between the individual stories and gave the movie a very cool vibe. 

I can’t say enough about the acting.  There are recognizable fact man every segment, some horror icons such as Tom Atkins and Adrienne Barbeau, Romero “regulars” John Amplis, Gaylen Ross and Tom Savini, and even some heavy Hollywood names in Ed Harris, Leslie Nielsen and Hal Holbrook.  Stephen King stars in his very own segment, which is impressive for a writer to put himself out there, even if the acting isn’t all that great. 

This is my favorite non-Dead movie by Romero.  The stories are all different enough to keep the movie from dragging, which is both a tribute to Stephen King and Romero.  While all the stories are fairly strong, my favorite is The Crate by far.  I think the pacing makes it exciting to watch and the subject matter is different from anything Romero has done before.  The weakest story is The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill, which is the segment that Stephen King starred in.  It goes by pretty quickly, but I didn’t care for King’s portrayal of Jordy. 

Creepshow is a modern classic and deserves a place in everyone’s collection.  It also appeals to a broader audience based on the strength of the cast and the brisk pace of the individual stories.  It’s also a jewel in the crown for George Romero, showing that he knows how to make more than a zombie flick.

V/H/S (2012)

Directed By: Adam Wingard, David Bruckner, Ti West, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, Radio Silence

Starring: Calvin Reeder, Lane Hughes, Adam Wingard, Hannah Fierman, Mike Donlan, Joe Sykes, Drew Sawyer, Jas Sams, Joe Swanberg, Sophia Takal

Subgenre: Anthology

Synopsis: A group of thugs break into a house looking for a secretive VHS tape and get more than they bargained for.

Thoughts: Anthology movies are hit or miss; so are found footage movies; which makes V/H/S an ambitious venture to say the least. The premise is pretty great, with a group of miscreants breaking into a house and finding  stack of video tapes each showing some pretty crazy things.  Even though some of the videos didn’t make sense on VHS (really, who video-tapes a Skype conversation?), the idea is to scare the hell out of you, and V/H/S accomplishes that on more than one occasion.

The actors are all unknowns for the most part, and I didn’t really recognize any faces, but they came through in their roles.  I think it is a bit easier to be convincing in a found footage movie like this, but there was really only one person that I thought underperformed, and that was the boyfriend in “The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger.”  The guy seemed like he was readying from cue cards.  Other than that, there were some pretty great performances.

The Direction as a whole was well done too, with some being better than others.  The anthology premise makes it hard to critique the movie, but I did have my favorites.  I made it a point not to know who directed which segments going in because I did have my favorites.  Interestingly enough, my most anticipated director ending up delivering my least favorite segment.  I really enjoyed Ti West’s The Innkeepers and also enjoyed House of the Devil, but I found The Second Honeymoon to be pretty bland. Two of my favorites were 10/31/98 and Amateur Night.

V/H/S is far from perfect.  It took the initial story arc and Amateur Night a while to get going during the onset especially, but I thought that it delivered above average scares on more than one occasion.  I had heard some below average reviews going in, so I was pleasantly surprised with what I watched.  I suggest checking it out and judging for yourself.

Chillerama (2011)

Chillerama (2011)

Directed By: Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan, Adam Green, Joe Lynch

Starring: Adam Rifkin, Sarah Mutch, Ray Wise, Eric Roberts, Lin Shaye, Sean Paul Lockhart, Ron Jeremy, Anton Troy, Joel David Moore, Kristina Klebe, Kane Hodder, Richard Riehle, Corey Jones, Khalil Thorne, Ward Roberts

Subgenre: Anthology, Horror-Comedy

Synopsis: A drive-In is the centerpiece for an anthology that spoofs different subgenres.

Thoughts: Chillerama is not a good movie, but I don’t think that is what Rifkin, Sullivan, Green and Lynch set out to do.  They set out to make a fun movie that pays homage and spoofs some great subgenres.  They succeeded to a degree, with a couple of the segments being well done, but a couple falling pretty flat.

My two favorites were actually the last two.  Adam Green’s “Diary of Anne Frankenstein” was hilarious and Joel Moore’s gibberish German was great to listen to.  It reminded me quite a bit of Mel Brook’s Young Frankenstein and was a great success in my eyes.

Zom-B Movie was the last segment, but also served as the wrapper for the rest of the story, as it takes place at the drive-in where we see the other movies.  It was an interesting take on the zombie genre but I thought it was pretty well done.  I have to admit, having zombies with a lust for sex instead of brains never really crossed my mind though.

Coming in third was Wadzilla, which was Adam Rifkin’s start to the anthology.  It is about a giant mutant sperm rampaging through New York City in an attempt to bang the Statue of Liberty.  The FX are terrible, but they are supposed to be, it adds to the charm.

The worst segment in my mind was I Was a Teenage Werebear by Tim Sullivan.  I applaud Sullivan for producing something so openly gay in a genre that doesn’t have a lot of history, but I thought he brought to many questionable decisions to the table.  In addition to being an homage to the age old tale of the Wolfman, it also apes the beach musicals as well.  Ultimately, it is just too much going on and isn’t very good.

In case you haven’t picked up on another theme, there is a ton of lewd references and bodily fluids found in Chillerama.  There are loads of, well, loads blown all over in Wadzilla and Zom-B Movie and there is even a mini segment called Deathification that is all about shit.  Thankfully it didn’t last long.

I had really high hopes going into Chillerama and it failed to live up to them.  It’s still pretty decent, but wasn’t what I was expecting.  I guess my expectations were more Creepshow and Chillerama does not look to go that route.  I’m sure these guys had a blast making this and it is a pretty good time, but I just don’t see this becoming a cult classic.